Frominem
by ShadowMecha
Summary: Frodo and Eminem... combined... heheh...


_Disclaimer: Some people think I own Tolkein Enterprises. Some people think I own Eminem._

_They are wrong._

_I do not own Eminem, he owns his bad self. Bad as in baaaad not "un-good". As in he's one bad dude. Yeah. His bad self._

_In my previous life I owned Tolkein Enterprises. Not now. I can dream... but oh well. I likes it, yes, precious._

FROMINEM (edited)

Guess who's back?

Back again?

Frodo's back.

Tell the fans.

Frodo's back, Frodo's back, Frodo's back, Frodo's back, Frodo's back, Frodo's back, Frodo's back.

I created a monster, cuz nobody's siding with Mordor no more,

They want Frodo, I'm chopped liver.

Well if you want Frodo, this what I give you.

A little bit a my ring mixed with some hobbit pipe weed fixes you hard,

Like a shock when I get shocked at Rivendell by Elrond when I'm no co-operating, 

When I'm stroking my dear ring while he's operating!

You waited this long, so stop takin' my ring,

Cuz I'm back and I want it, it's a precious thing.

I know you've got a job, oh Dark Lord,

But Gollum woke me up when the little **** snored.

So JRR won't let me be, won't let me sleep, so let me see, 

Try to shut me down with my LOtR people,

But without me, there'd just be no more sequels.

So come on later, I'll sign your papers, 

I need some time, gotta talk to Vader.

I'll get ready, bout time for the council chapter.

****! The nine are back riding smelly raptors!

_Now this looks like a job for Froo, PS everybody, Sam says **** you,_

_Cuz we need a little bit of hobbit stew,_

_And I guess we'll cook Pippin, and Merry too! Hey!_

Little hobbits, bobbits feelin greedy,

Ignoring the fact that's Sauron's needy,

Embarrassed their parents still are hooked on pipe weed,

They start feeling like they are slaves helpless, 

Until someone comes along on a mission and yells- Mister Frodo!

A hobbit homo, the kids say oh no,

Could rise up against Sauron, 

Who's polluting the air and waves, all too evil,

So let him just let on to the fact that he's got all the orcs kissing his ***.

It's a disaster, such a catastrophe,

But you can see so much of his ring, you asked to see

Well, the eye's back, da na na na na na na nuh!

The eye's black, and he cannot fully take shape yet,

Skin like a teenager, the centerpiece of evil,

I'll destroy the ring, his evil toy,

One question, is the Dark Lord a girl or a boy?

Pointed ears, attention please,

Feel the tension soon as someone mentions the ring,

Here's my ten fingers, Gollum, two of Sam's are free, 

And new fingers, who's fingers, you sent for me?

_Now this looks like a job for Froo, PS everybody, Sam says **** you,_

_Cuz we need a little bit of hobbit stew,_

_And I guess we'll cook Pippin, and Merry too! Hey!_

A finger, a ringer, a ranger, a singer

Anybody who's talking to the Gollum thinger

You can get your finger bit worse than a little bit of **** biscuit

Saruman? You could get stomped by Sauron. Weird?

Worse, you could get swamped by Treebeard.

You're a geezer, a wheezer with a crooked beezer,

Nobody looks at that nose, so let's go, and ignore the guy who's old,

Let me know, I'll be here with a whole list of new insults.

I can think while writing down in ink,

Ever since I lost the One Ring into the sink.

Thought I'm not the first hobbit with a novel 'bout me, 

I'm am the first with a me based Trilogy,

I use elvish poems selfishly.

Maybe I could sing them and get myself wealthy!

Hey! Here's a concept that works.

20 million other hobbit rappers emerge, 

But now matter how many elves in this Middle Earth place, 

I am the only hobbit that will (say it fast) go to his reserved Gray Haven parking space!

_Now this looks like a job for Froo, PS everybody, Sam says **** you,_

_Cuz we need a little bit of hobbit stew,_

_And I guess we'll cook Pippin, and Merry too! Hey!_

Lalalalala, lalalalala, lalalalala, lalalala. Lalalalala, lalalalalala, lalalalala, lalalala!

_Hobbits!_

_The bearer of the ring, the wearer of the ring, beware who wears the ring!_


End file.
